Enjoy a spectacular city tour with your fellow Sweeties capped off by a visit to the Ranfurly Homes for Children and a delicious group lunch. Debauchery and do-goodery at its finest.

Space is limited, so please sign up early. To book your community service project, call Julie at 877.793.3830 or email her at julie [at] discoversweet.com.

RANFURLY HOMES FOR CHILDREN
Sunday, February 19, 2012, 10.30am – 2pm
Nassau, Bahamas
Meet at 10.30am at the end of the gangway pier
$65 per person (includes city tour, transportation, water and donation)

We’re visiting the Ranfurly Homes for Children, a safe haven for thousands of Bahamian children and teenagers since 1956. At present, they have 17 boys, ages range from 11 to 18, and 13 girls ages from 13 to 18. We plan to deliver wish-list supplies, interact with the teenagers, maybe play a bit of basketball.

We are combining this project with a two-and-a-half-hour private tour of the island. Ranfurly Home provides a safe, structured environment for kids who have been orphaned, abused, neglected or abandoned. Now, it has the capacity to accommodate more than 45 children who range in age from 5 to 20. It’s equipped with three dormitories, a study room, living room, a computer/library center and a kitchen and dining facility.

Participation is voluntary. If you would like to help, but not join us, please bring some wish-list items below. As the sizes of the children vary, the staff suggests we do not bring clothes. Start collecting supplies. No donation is too small.

WISH-LIST ITEMS
• Personal hygiene items for teen boys and girls, like gel, shampoo, conditioner, brushes, combs, bands, clips, hair dryers (same voltage as USA) and hand mirrors.

• Toothpaste, toothbrushes and floss (Ask your dentist to donate some toothbrushes, toothpaste and floss.)

• Nail polish and remover. Other manicure accessories.

• Totes and backpacks

• Educational games and books

• Sports gear and hats (Balls can be deflated for ease of transport. We’ll donate a pump to re-inflate them when we arrive.)

• DVDs and CDs (popular movies and music)

• Pens, pencils, markers, notebooks, paper and other school / art supplies.

Whoo hoo! It’s finally time to pack for our Short & Sweet Bahamas Cruise. Thanks to the warm Gulf Stream currents and balmy tradewinds, the Islands Of The Bahamas are blessed with a semi-tropical climate. Typical temperatures range from 70 to 80 degrees Fahrenheit. While we can give no guarantees regarding rain, rainfall is most unlikely from November through April. Water temperatures range from the low-80s in the summer to the mid-70s in winter.

We are doing a city tour followed by a visit to Ranfurly Homes for Children in Nassau. Click for details on our community service project. Please consider bringing donations from the wish list even if you don’t want to join us.

Here’s a list of things you don’t want to forget:
• Toiletries: Razor, lotion, make up (or not), hair ties, toothbrush, toothpaste, topsy tail, hair brush, mousse, gel, Advil, Extenze, tampons / pads, Q-Tips, etc.

• Hairdryer: If you have long or thick hair, you’ll want to bring your own dryer.

• Shorts: Cargo shorts — check! Camo shorts — check! Bermuda shorts — check! Board shorts — check! If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you don’t need my help packing.

• Tank tops / T-shirts: Like you’d ever forget those.

• Sun dresses: These are optional. If you’re a sundress person, you’ll want to pack some.

• Formal attire for the optional fancy pants night.

• Sweater / light jacket: We’re looking at warm weather for the week, but the air conditioning in the hotel can get a bit chilly.

• Hat: Bring one, bring two, bring one for every outfit. You’ll want a hat. There’s going to be sun.

• Sunglasses: Combine these with the hat and we’re talking hot, hot, hot. Bring a case for them, too. You do not need to be squinting into scratched up glasses.

• Watch: Take your Sweet time (and keep track of it, too).

• Flip flops: Essential footwear for the woman on the go. Formal flip flops for the evening, casual flip flops for the day and don’t forget your gag flip flops for starting conversations with strangers.

• Swimsuits, swimmie fins and water shoes

• Snorklers, bring your own gear.

• White party attire.

• Daypack: You’ll want something to carry around on our excursions.

• Passport: Pack it, check it, double check it, then check it again. You need it. Make sure you see your girlfriend’s too. You know how she’s always forgetting something.

• Moola, money, greenbacks: The legal tender is the Bahamian dollar, which is equivalent in value to the U.S. dollar. U.S. currency is accepted throughout Nassau Paradise Island as are most major credit cards and traveler’s checks.

• Notify your credit card companies and bank that you’ll be traveling in the Bahamas.

• Sunscreen: Until we fix global warming, pack at least SPF 15 and make it biodegradable.

• Battery disposal: Bring a baggie to carry home your batteries and recycle them properly.

• Workout gear: Don’t forget your sneakers, shorts, sports bras and tank tops. The gym is top notch. You’ll want to check it out. Plus we’re going to be leading some fun runs and walks.

• Camera / video camera with extra batteries or charger: Don’t miss a thing.

• Business cards / notepad: You’re going to make loads of new friends. You’ll want their contact information.

• A water bottle: You’ll want to refill this early and often.

• Just in case, bring photo copies of your passport, insurance card and all credit cards you’re bringing. Better to be safe than sorry.

• We are donating supplies to the local orphanage. Click for details on our community service project at the Ranfurly Homes for Children.

Share your favorite packing tips and anything I missed in the comments section below.

Listen here

For the third year in a row, Sweet cleans up at the Golden Kitty Awards on the Lesbian Lounge on MyLesbianRadio.com. Hosted by the effervescent and effulgent Denise and Donna, the Lesbian Lounge features interviews with prominent lesbians as well as everything you need to know to clean your toilet. Tune in Wednesdays, 7-9pm Pacific Time or download the podcast and listen later.

This year, Sweet took home three awards. Its third crown for Best Lesbian Travel Company plus Kitties for Shannon Wentworth for Best Eco-Gay and Shannon Wentworth and Anne Evans for Best Lesbian Couple (along with Sweeties Cathy DeBuono and Jill Bennett who were recognized for their bad-ass coupledom as well).

Everyone knows that Sweeties like to engage in good deeds wherever they travel, but did you know that this holiday season you can get involved closer to home?  That’s right! Whether you’re in New England or New Mexico, living in West Hollywood or on West 57th, you can be a part of the Sweeties Holiday of Giving!

WEST COAST
On the west coast, Darcie Takeuchi is leading the efforts to support At the Crossroads (ATC). ATC hits the streets nightly after the sun has gone down in many of San Francisco’s toughest neighborhoods, providing outreach services to homeless youth. Email Darcie to find out how you can help support ATC.

SOUTHWEST
In the southwest, Robin Silverman has partnered with the Sante Fe Youth Shelter and Life Experience Education Program, which is the primary agency in the Santa Fe/northern New Mexico area serving homeless, runaway and street youth and their families, as well as young people who are at risk of being homeless. If you want to help out, contact Robin.

MIDWEST
For the Sweeties in the Midwest, Heather Penn is working to make the holidays brighter at Dreams for Kids.  Dreams for Kids is a volunteer-based children’s charity that breaks down social barriers and seeks to end the isolation for at-risk youth. You can reach Heather for more information on how to get involved this holiday season.

EAST COAST
Finally, in the east, Candy Parker has identified two charitable organizations to assist, The Wanda Alston House and Doorways of Northern Virginia.

The Wanda Alston House is the first and only housing program in Washington, DC, that is solely dedicated to offering pre-independent living and support services to homeless or at-risk GLBTQ youth ages 16-24, while Doorways strives to end homelessness and family and intimate partner violence by offering safe shelter and housing, life changing support services, and community advocacy.  Contact Candy to learn how you can help support these great causes.

Thanks to all our Sweeties for helping make the holidays just a little bit Sweet-er for those in need this season.

Sweeties are incredible planners. It’s a common sight to see a pair of Sweeties bent over a dog-eared travel guide on every trip that they’ve obviously read through before they even got on the plane. You can rely on Sweet to come up with some great excursions and recommendations on every trip, but it always helps to have your own resource in your back pocket when you’re out and about. Here are my picks for travel guides for some of Sweet’s upcoming destinations.

And if you have your own recommendations, please email them to me at jen@discoversweet.com and I’ll post them in a future blog.

Travel Guides

Eyewitness Travel: Alaska
I cannot say enough about the Eyewitness series. They are super accessible, filled with gorgeous photos to help you visualize your upcoming adventure, and indispensible for helping plan day trips. This fully updated guide features unique cutaways, floorplans and reconstructions of the state’s must-see sites, and street-by-street maps of Alaska’s fascinating towns. The gorgeous photographs and illustrations lead you straight to the best attractions this diverse state has to offer, from downtown Anchorage to the Gold Rush spirit of Kennicott. Detailed listings will guide you to the best restaurants, bars and shops for all budgets, and include detailed practical information to help you get around. Plus, you’ll find insider tips on Alaska, from cruising through spectacular fjords and watching wildlife in pristine wildernesses to seeing the aurora borealis (still on my list) and soaking up the state’s Russian and Native heritage.

Cruise Guide to Europe & the Mediterranean
Another delicious Eyewitness guide that I’m in love with. Updated in 2011, this guide covers 70 ports of call, and includes unique cutaways, floorplans and reconstructions of all the major sites, plus birds-eye-view maps to ensure you don’t miss a thing. This guide lists everything from ship etiquette to the best bars and restaurants ashore. Plus, it’s loaded with insider tips on where the locals go, relaxing entertainment venues, amazing sites and the top shopping spots. It’s all you need for an unforgettable cruise. It’s the perfect companion for your Mediterranean cruise.

Canyon Solitude: A Woman’s Solo River Journey Through the Grand Canyon
I hunted in vain for a guide to rafting in Whitewater Canyon, but stumbled upon this absolute gem. It’s the story of one woman’s incredible 25-day solo rafting adventure down the Colorado River in the trip that grew out of her desire to change her life. Filled with beautifully detailed descriptions and very personal account of the author’s transformative journey down the river. Not a guidebook in the traditional sense, this is more of an armchair guide that might get you thinking more about your life than about the rapids ahead.

Cozumel: The Complete Guide II Fully revised and updated 2011 edition
Known for its breathtaking dive sites and spectacular white beaches, Cozumel is located on the second largest barrier reef system in the world. The author Patricia A. Holt moved to the island in 2007 and saw a need for a comprehensive guide to Cozumel. She created her own guide in which she divulges her secrets and recommendations for navigating the island. She includes all the information you’d expect in a great travel guide on where to stay, eat and shop, how to get around, and what to see while you’re there, and she adds super helpful sections on topics only a local would know like where to find a chiropractor or a dentist if you need one. She even includes more than 20 discount coupons to save you money during your visit!

Eastern Caribbean
This is a beautiful guide by Kevin Anglin that includes tons of detailed, easy-to-use maps and a super handy French language section. You’ll learn how to find the best jump-ups and steel bands, rain forest hikes, and Carnival experiences. There is also in-depth coverage of diving, hiking and bird watching to enrich your vacation. You’ll definitely want to check this one out before you leave for the spectacular Eastern Caribbean.

Shannon Wentworth and Turtle Chairez having a post-op Coke and a smile.

BY SHANNON WENTWORTH
As I stood at the operating table, holding a feral cat’s uterus in clamps, I thought, “I have the best job ever!”

On our recent Isla Mujeres resort vacation, we did our most ambitious project yet. We trapped, sterilized and released feral cats. It was a three-part, three-day project.

Before we left, Sweeties, two nurses and one super awesome veterinarian teamed up to rustle up the supplies and the cash. Once we got there, we joined with four of the island’s most fierce defenders of cats, Lupita, Josefina, Paloma and Mildred, to capture these wild felines. While they look all cute and fuzzy, they are not like the housecats we’re used to in the United States. As soon as the trap closes on them, they are all hisses and teeth and claws. Blessedly, they calm down if you cover them with a towel.

About 20 of us went out to set and bait the traps. Cats love lesbians as much as lesbians love cats, so we caught them pretty quickly. We took them back to the vet’s office where we marked them by the location where we found them and let them rest for the night.

The next morning, a crew of about eight went back to the hospital to begin sterilizing the cats. Even though I planned this project, I never imagined I’d actually operate on the cats. And yet, there I was, elbow deep in cat guts.

My teacher is Dr. Delphino, a man with a huge heart who speaks little English. Because of cultural supersitions, nobody adopts the black cats. Dr. Delphino’s office was crawling with black, black and white and tortoise shell calico cats. Sweet comedian Jennie McNulty and her partner Sheila took one home (brava, ladies).

Dr. Delphino asked if I wanted to help, I said, “yes.” I thought I’d be changing newspaper or mopping floors or even his brow, but next thing I know I’m tying a cat to an operating table as his assistant puts scrubs and sterile gloves on me.

I speak very little Spanish, “cerveza,” “pico de gallo,” “donde esta la bano?” Dr. Delphino speaks little English (though it’s better than my Spanish). As it turns out, veterinary medicine is the universal language. Dressed like an extra in “Grey’s Anatomy,” I looked into his big brown eyes and it felt like he was telling me what to do without words. We proceeded to sterilize two female and three male cats together.

On the first cat we sterilized, a female, I noticed that while she wasn’t moving, her heart was beating a mile a minute. Our second patient, another female, I could barely feel her heartbeat. Dr. Delphino showed me that she was lactating, which meant she had babies to feed somewhere. She was also dehydrated. A few minutes into the surgery, I realized I hadn’t felt a heartbeat in a while and I told Dr. Delphino who grabbed this miracle drug a vet in the United States had sent me the day before I left. It’s called Respiram and it brought this mama cat back to life.

After the cats were sterilized, we notched their ears so we wouldn’t trap them again as well as vaccinating them, giving them a strong antibiotic and removing their fleas and ear mites. We gave them lots of love and affection while they were sleeping, too. The next day, we released them back into the wild.

In all, Sweeties sterilized 21 feral cats while we were in Isla Mujeres. When I started Sweet, I wanted to do small projects to show people how easy, fun and empowering it feels to give back. Thanks to Sweet guests Marta and Cecilia and Sweet staffer Natalie Garcia, Sweet was able to connect with this amazing team of cat rescuers and make a huge difference in a short amount of time. Thank you Marta, Cecilia, Natalie and everyone who opens their hearts and pushes us to do more. Together, we are changing the world for the better.

*** P.S. Dr. Leah, if you are reading this, please email me or call me. I can’t find your contact information and I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you for the life-saving supplies you sent.

We’re celebrating the end of DADT at long last. Can you describe your experience with DADT?
Well, it started the day I joined Army ROTC in college. Right away I knew my life was going to drastically change having to keep my personal life a secret. After the first week of military science class, which you take when you’re a part of ROTC, I had to sign a class contract that stated that I didn’t engage in any homosexual conduct or didn’t act on any thoughts of homosexual activity of any nature.

There was even a complete description of what homosexual conduct meant as well as subparagraphs stating how I would be disenrolled for the thought of engaging in homosexual conduct. I remember being in class staring at the sheet of paper placed in front of me thinking how unbelievable it was that I had to sign something like that.

It was gut-wrenching. I asked the class instructor, a major, who said how ridiculous it was to ask people to sign that when there was a supposed policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” meaning you can be a homosexual in the military – you just couldn’t reveal that you were. It was clearly asking people who were gay to lie about their sexuality, yet one of the key values of the army is integrity.

Although my major agreed with me, he said basically if I wanted to participate in the ROTC program I had to sign. My heart raced as I shakily placed my pen to the paper. I closed my eyes and thought of the reasons why I was joining in order to calm my nerves.

With tears cresting my eyes and a huge lump in my throat, I signed the document. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever made in my life knowing full well that I was going to have to hide a huge part of myself. My girlfriend of four years would have to be a complete secret. I couldn’t go to any LGBT clubs or events, fearing someone in the military would catch me.

Needless to say, I lost many friends by keeping a secret life. My relationship crumbled after six years. After all, how could I expect the relationship to continue when she would no longer be able to live with me wherever I was stationed?

We’d even gone to an amusement park five hours away from my college and ran into one of my military instructors, so we couldn’t even be ourselves in public outside the local area. It seems so trivial but all I wanted to do was hold my girlfriend’s hand and I couldn’t.

I was living a double-life full of lies. I can’t tell you how many times I slipped about my girlfriend during training. Getting “she” and “he” mixed up was really easy so I made up a different version of stories in my head, memorizing the difference between “Jay” and “Jen”. I’d gotten so good at telling the other version that I started telling the lies in everyday conversation. Suddenly, it was as if I really was this other person. It had gotten to a point where I couldn’t take it any longer. I decided that I’d rather be caught than have to live in shame of who I was. I decided right then and there that I would fight with everything I had in me to end the DADT policy so every gay and lesbian sacrificing their personal lives could live freely without retribution.

I was a part of every discussion board, every poll and anything that had to do with possibly ending the policy.

After my first deployment to Iraq, I was investigated for homosexual conduct. It was a very difficult time in my career, but it got to the point where I was fed up with the lies and social injustice of it all so when my commander threatened to give me an unwarranted punishment that would permanently affect my career (even though he had no proof of my sexual orientation) I stood my ground.

That was the final straw for me, especially because the whole investigation started after I was beat up by my girlfriend at the time and my unit saw it as a simple lover’s quarrel. I told him if he thought I was going to just roll over he was terribly mistaken. I wasn’t about to go down without a fight. I fully intended on making as much noise as possible on the case.

In the end, he dropped the harsher punishment and gave me a slap on the wrist, but for anyone to have his or her life scrutinized that way was awful. I obviously have a nicer outcome than most when coming out the backside of that type of investigation so I was lucky.

From that experience, I gained the courage to never allow anyone to ever verbalize their homophobia in the workplace again. Whether they knew I was gay or not was irrelevant. Unfortunately, gay bashing is part of the social norm in the military. You couldn’t go more than 30 minutes in an army environment without hearing a crude homophobic joke.

In fact, once the repeal was announced and training for tolerance began, the laugh among most of the soldiers was “Get the gay jokes out now before we’re not allowed to say them anymore.”

I told a couple of my soldiers that if they made one more gay bashing comment or joke, I’d make it my life’s mission to destroy their career. Harsh? Yes. After over six years in the military having to tolerate listening to the most vile gay bashing imaginable, I’d reached my limit.

Overall, DADT had a huge affect on my life and I couldn’t be happier than to see it finally crushed.

How do you expect things will change in your life now that DADT has been put out to pasture?
Honestly, I don’t see my life changing very much since I stopped caring if anyone “caught” me after I was investigated. Most of my unit knows anyway although I never officially said anything. I still won’t come out to them because my personal life is none of their business; after all, I’m the same person I was before. I’m just happy to be able to nonchalantly bring up a relationship in conversation and not have to lie about the gender.

How many gay troops do you think will come out now and how do you think they’ll be received?
I don’t think there will be as many gay soldiers coming out as most would expect because I believe most keep their personal life to themselves. As far as not fearing retribution, if they were to come out is a huge relief for all of us.

There will be some who shout it to the world, of course. I mean, we all remember what it was like to come out of the closet feeling that rush of freedom. I think they will receive a mixed reaction. For soldiers in all male units, such as the Infantry, it will be extremely difficult for most of those soldiers because of the type of individuals in those units. They’re typically very prejudiced egotistical men who’ve been used to using the chiefly offensive name for gay men in everyday conversation and jokes. Other units it will depend on the dynamic.

Overall, I would caution gay soldiers to know their environment before coming out. I would say 80 percent of military personnel genuinely don’t care what the sexual orientation of individuals in their unit so long as they’re good soldiers. It’s the few ignorant ones in each unit who create the poisonous workplace and make the loudest noise.

Will you feel safe to come out?
Yes and no. Like I said, you have to know you’re environment. I know some individuals in my unit who have spoken very harshly of homosexuals, but I know they wouldn’t harm me. I’m an officer though. It’s the enlisted soldiers who I think will have more of a problem due to the ignorance of some of their peers, but it’s up to leadership to create a cohesive working environment and set a zero-tolerance policy for any type of bullying.

I’m honestly afraid for those in all male units who decide to come out. Especially right away, I expect there will be some angry extremists within some units who will act out when hearing their bunkmate is gay.

You recently had a really interesting debate with my nephew on my FB page about the difference between cutting military spending and cutting military presence. Can you explain what it is and why it’s important?
When people say they would like the government to “cut military spending” what the government interprets that as meaning is cutting for example our salaries, benefits, budgets for food, personal protective equipment and ammunition.

Cutting military presence is like it sounds – it’s backing off our soldiers out of other countries, so inevitably it’s saving the United States a lot of money by staying out of the problems of other countries. When people outcry to cut military spending it’s actually gravely hurting our soldiers overseas.

In Afghanistan, I was literally rationed ammunition and told how much I was allowed to shoot if in a firefight because of the low supply for munitions due to budget cuts. I was luckily on a base where I didn’t need to fire a lot of ammunition, but for soldiers on outlying posts who are attacked on a daily basis it gravely affects them.

They also don’t get hot meals while they’re out there. If they’re lucky, they have cots or mattresses with springs sticking through them. Mostly, they have to sleep on wooden beds they make for themselves for an entire year. Those are the men and women fighting for your freedom. They’re told their already low salaries and retirement benefits may be getting cut.

It definitely hits a nerve when I hear people mention cutting military spending. If what you want is to get our soldiers out of other countries and to mind our own business inevitably saving loads of money, then please outcry to the government to cut military presence. The wording makes all the difference.

What made you join the service? What inspires you to keep going?
I always had a deep feeling of pride whenever I saw characters portraying strong military women in movies, such as “G.I. Jane” and “Courage Under Fire.” The way they didn’t back down through all the adversity they faced was something that resonated with me.

When 9/11 happened I was in tenth grade. Of course we all remember where we were on that day. It was a time where our entire nation came together and put their arms around one another. Those terrorists hit my home; threatened my family. Although I lived in Central New York, my entire family is from around the NYC area.

My uncle used to take the underpass beneath the Towers to go to work each day. My Aunt used to work in Tower 1, but thankfully moved in 2000.

On 9/11 we didn’t hear from my uncle for 8 hours. All around I saw the devastation that day just by looking at the faces of my teachers and classmates. So many lost loved ones. Over the next couple years, I heard horror stories of female soldiers getting raped and mistreated over in Iraq. So not only are terrorists threatening my loved ones at home, but the females out there risking their lives for our country were getting abused and nothing was being done about it.

I remember thinking, “What’s the best way I can help those soldiers?” To me, it was to become an officer. I knew that joining would mean I’d be sacrificing my personal life, knowing full well about the DADT policy, but it was a small price to pay considering I could make a huge impact on so many people’s lives.

I’m not a hero, I don’t have superpowers, and I’ve been told more times than I can count that I can’t save everyone. Well, I’m not trying to save everyone, but if I can make a positive impact on even one life it’s worth it to me. I’ve fought many battles since joining the Army, persevering through adversity, including sexual harassment and being assaulted.

Though some may look at my career and wonder why I’d put myself through the craziness I have, it only takes me a second to think of that 18-year-old female soldier I helped who was raped and no one believed in my first unit. Or the 19-year-old female soldier who was cutting herself because no one ever told her it was OK to be gay. I spent hours talking to her. She now walks around with a huge smile on her face because she’s in love. Both of those women were contemplating suicide. Both of those women I recognized certain signs with and intervened in time.

I absolutely believe everything happens for a reason. There are certain things I’ve been through in this life that I don’t understand why right away, but when I end up helping someone else because of my own personal experiences it makes it all worth it in the end. There are so many men and women I’ve helped get through hard times, I know I can look back on my career and be proud of what I’ve been a part of. So what inspires me to keep going? Simply put: my soldiers.

I fought hard against DADT from the inside out, as did so many other gay Soldiers who’ve been serving in silence. We all have our own story and our own reasons for joining, but we all have one more bonding commonality besides the obvious, we all persevered and saw the end of DADT.

Would you recommend a military career to other Sweeties?
If you have the heart and right mindset, then absolutely. Know though that we still don’t have the same rights as heterosexuals when it comes to families and relationships. Your marriage, although legalized through your state, is not federally recognized and therefore not acknowledged by the military. Your wife would always be referred to as your girlfriend by military policy. She wouldn’t have any family benefits through the military and you couldn’t claim her as a dependent meaning you couldn’t take her to Germany with you if you were stationed there. That is of course a personal decision you’d have to make on your own.